Hey Baldy,
I am 18 and I am approaching the end to my first year in college. I went to a school near my hometown, and my best friend from high school also went to college there. Having a close friend here is great, but it seems like he can’t operate on his own. Like, he is a clingy human being. We hang out in similar circles, but it seems like I have been his introduction to everyone that we know. When we go to parties, I try to mingle, but he will be near me with almost every conversation I try to have. He’s not a bad person, or toxic, but I sometimes feel like he is just tagging along for the ride.
How can I tell him this without destroying our friendship?
Sincerely,
Attached at the Hip
Hi Attached at the Hip-
This can be a delicate situation, but the best thing to do is to rip the band-aid off. Summer is coming, which maybe can provide some distance. Even being from the same hometown I’ll bet you have separate jobs at least. If not that is a problem.
In any case you need to do two things.
- Tell him what your feelings are, just don’t be mean about it. You need to approach this from an angle that suggests that you think he needs to find his own way sometimes or he will end up with a shitty college experience. College is the place where a lot of people find their best friends for life, wives, boyfriends, etc. and
- Get involved in some activities that he can’t be a part of. Maybe that involves clubs related to your major. Maybe that is a part-time job. Maybe athletics. Whatever you can do.
I would do step one at some point this summer when you are hanging out. Say something like “Hey man, I noticed that you are not all that social at parties, you mostly only talk to me. You should work on that to get yourself out there, get laid, make new friends, etc…”.
-Baldman
Bald Advice 